What to do on a first date with a girl you met on the internet

Congratulations! You got a hot date. You may be surprised to know that, in many cases, the hard part of the seduction process is now over. That is to say, if you have been congruent with your pictures, emails, and profile, then this date will be a piece of cake. (And, if you haven’t, then this date will be a nightmare…)
Women are exceptionally intuitive and socially aware, on a level far above the average man. In fact, her ancestors had to be. For in the Pleistocene, risking her heart with a man, meant risking her life as well. The probability of death in childbirth to this day in some African countries (where we evolved) is still 1/13!

“…women are better judges of character. Good female judges of character left more descendants than bad. Good male judges did no better than bad male judges.” ( Ridley, Matt. “The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature.” Penguin Books Ltd., 1993.)

That said, if she’s really willing to take time out of her busy life to come meet with you, then there is something in you that she finds attractive. So your primary goal now is to not make any stupid mistakes that would make her run away and never call you again. Sit back, smile, and convey a positive outlook and passion for life. Express a genuine interest in her as another sentient being. Be honest and real and show her your hopes, dreams, and flaws. When a woman really likes you, your flaws may actually be beneficial – for she may perceive them as a token of cuteness, rather than a turnoff.

Some dating models

Your goal should be to transition her to the venue in which you have a high degree of situational confidence or situational value. Generally speaking, we are most comfortable in domains in which we already have some experience. Do you know a lot of people in your local lounge? Does your friend play piano at the bar downtown? By taking your date to such places, you give her the opportunity to see you engaging in healthy interaction with your peers. But if this isn’t possible, don’t worry. Be creative. There are hundreds of different dates you can go on. All have their benefits and drawbacks. But here are a few of my favorites:

Lounges

Singles lounges probably have the best reputation for exciting the romantic inklings of their single patrons. And of course, as Campbell Scott said in the film Roger Dodger, “Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years.”

Coffee shops

Personally, I can’t stand coffee. And I try to avoid coffee shop dates. But, coffee shops are infamous for their implied dating neutrality.

The quick “lunch date”

These kinds of dates work out great if you both have corporate jobs in a nearby proximity to each other. After all, you both have to eat right?

The “five minute date”

If she’s a socially active woman, most likely she’ll be going out on Friday or Saturday night. And, so will you. So why not arrange an early meeting with her before both of your nights start out. For example, if she’s going to meet her friends in the city at eight, then meet her at 7:30 in a nearby bar for a “five minute date.” Now if things go bad, then you’ve both only lost five minutes. And if they go well, then you might be surprised how easily a woman’s plans (that were set in stone moments before) seem to magically become alterable.