Profile Part 3 – The Irasshaimase Effect

One day I was going through eBay ads and I came across a user who always started her ads with one sentence:

“Hello. Thanks for reading my post.”

Curiously, I noticed that, even though I really wasn’t interested in anything she was selling, I still found myself glancing across her eBay page.

Weeks later, I went to a Japanese sushi restaurant and, as I walked through the door, the chefs shouted out the typical Japanese Sushi chef greeting, “Irasshaimase (welcome)!” Now, I had eaten sushi here before. But this time, I took note of how my cognitive state changed for the better – after such an enthusiastic door greeting.

In his book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” Robert Cialdini wrote about his research experience with the Hare Krishna monks. He wrote about the familiar tactic employed by donation-seeking monks at the airport. One monk would casually dole out flowers to each passerby – all with the assurance that the flower was absolutely free, and that there was no obligation to make a donation. Another monk would make a rotation to various airport trash cans to pick out the flowers that the travelers had quickly discarded. What was so interesting was how effective this “free flower” technique was. Cialdini noted that there must be a powerful engine in the human brain that urges us to engage in the practice of reciprocity – even when the starting act is not welcomed, and the actual intent is questionable. After piecing together these three anecdotes, I eventually came up with, what I call, the “Irasshaimase Effect.” And just what is this highly complex principle?

“People feel inclined to stay, when you give them something (a ‘thank you’, praise, a flower, or a warm welcome).”

Now of course, this is obvious really. And yet, after looking at well over a thousand dating profiles, I have only seen it used a handful of times.

In the first line of your profile, put a sentence similar to one of the following:

Thanks for reading my profile.
Hello! Thanks for dropping by.
Hi! Thanks for giving me a moment.
Hello and thank you for reading my profile page.
Hello there gorgeous. Thanks for stopping by.

You might be surprised about just how effective this simple sentence is. These days, whether I’m looking for a date or selling a camera on Craigslist, I have learned to always start with a ‘thank you’.