Profile Part 5 – Writing About Online Dating Profile to reflect Who You Want To Meet

In real estate, the first home that a project developer builds usually becomes the “model home.” They furnish the home (often at significant expense) and invite people to walk inside for a bit. The reason is obvious. Prospective buyers have to be able to envision themselves living in the house. They need to imagine Christmas Eve with their kids by the fire, and taking a bath with their spouse in the master bathroom. If the home doesn’t “feel right,” they move on – usually in less than 10 minutes!
Your target needs to be able to envision her life in your world. You need to invite her on a brief journey into your universe – via your profile. For example, if you love to sail, tell her that you are looking for someone to go boating with on a breezy Sunday afternoon. Can she see herself on the boat?

Illustrate Independence, with the possibility of conversion to monogamy

“The female romantic ideal is to convert the good genes rogue, into the committed long term mate – to get two for one. Through the power of [her] kiss, [her] passion, [her] romantic adventure, [she] converts one to the other. That’s what women want…the best of both possible worlds.” – Geoffrey Miller

The old cliche about how a woman’s goal is to “tame the bad boy” is likely quite true. So, in your profile, let’s present her with this challenge. You need to include a section that hits upon two themes.

I am a very independent person.
I am always keeping an eye open for ‘the one.’

I can’t stress the importance of this section enough. And its effect is twofold. First, you tap into a woman’s obvious preference for an independent, confident rogue. Second, you let her know that you potentially are up for a long term relationship. As Dan Ariely’s Match.com study noted:

“[In online dating], men who say they want a long-term relationship do much better than men looking for an occasional lover.” (Levitt, Steven & Dubner, Stephen. “Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything.” William Morrow, 2005: p. 97.)

And as David Buss has noted:

“Mimicking what women want in a husband by showing kindness and sincere interest, in short, is also an effective technique for luring women into brief sexual liaisons. Women are more receptive, even in the short term, to men who appear to embody their ideals for a long-term mate.”(Buss, David. “The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies Of Human Mating.” Basic Books , 1995: p. 104.)

Qualify her

Healthy successful men have standards. So you should in some fashion make your standards known. This is often done with qualifiers. Below is a list of some common ones.

“No psycho chicks please.”
“No dumb girls.”
“I don’t respond to winks.”

Now these are quite a bit too simplistic and negative in my opinion. I much prefer invoking a more neutral, witty stance.

“Do you look hot in stiletto heels?”
“I am looking for a woman with great passion for something. I don’t care if it’s ballet or stamp collecting, but please, be passionate for something.”
“Are you honest, compassionate, and like to cuddle?”
“If you tend to send text messages during your dates, then please don’t write me?”