The Profile Statistics Fields
Income
As discussed above, careers and income are associated with social status. In many dating websites the financial indicator box is actually buried in a sea of statistical data that she often won’t see. The man in the below profile actually makes a lot of money. But, you would never know because his yearly income is hidden deep within his profile text. His potential female viewer would have to scroll down and do quite a bit of textual scanning to find this information. And, statistically, internet surfers often ignore whatever is “below the fold” (any information that is below the user’s monitor height). This is why I want to stress again that you should attempt to answer the question, “so what do you do?” in the top of your dating profile page.
A dating website financial indicator is usually quite low on the profile page.
Religion, Astrology, and Political Affiliation
“Change her mood, not her mind.” – Owen Cook of Real Social Dynamics
Most dating websites have a spot where you can fill in your religions faith and your star sign. Humans are spiritual creatures. And women are notoriously more spiritual than men. Hence the largely female-targeted market of tarot cards, palm reading, fortune telling, and astrology. Personally, I’m an atheist. But I’ve learned to never bring this up right off the bat. People tend to keep religious convictions very close to their hearts. Often such beliefs have very powerful associations linked to, say, the death of a grandma or the illness of a close friend. And if you disagree with her on issues in this vein, then you risk triggering some deep rooted switch that will kill any attraction you’ve managed to build up within her.
“Imagine some young hominids huddling around a Pleistocene campfire, enjoying their newly evolved language ability. Two males get into an argument about the nature of the world, and start holding forth, displaying their ideologies.The hominid named Carl proposes: “We are mortal, fallible primates who survive on this fickle savanna only because we cluster in these jealousy-ridden groups. Everywhere we have ever traveled is just a tiny, random corner of a vast continent on an unimaginably huge sphere spinning in a vacuum. The sphere has traveled billions and billions of times around a flaming ball of gas, which will eventually blow up to incinerate our empty, fossilized skulls. I have discovered several compelling lines of evidence in support of these hypotheses. .. .”The hominid named Candide interrupts: “No, I believe we are immortal spirits gifted with these beautiful bodies because the great god Wug chose us as his favorite creatures. Wug blessed us with this fertile paradise that provides just enough challenges to keep things interesting. Behind the moon, mystic nightingales sing our praises, some of us more than others.Above the azure dome of the sky the smiling sun warms our hearts. After we grow old and enjoy the babbling of our grandchildren, Wug will lift us from these bodies to join our friends to eat roasted gazelle and dance eternally. I know these things because Wug picked me to receive this special wisdom in a dream last night.”Which ideology do you suppose would prove more sexually attractive? Will Carl’s truth-seeking geneswhich may discover some rather ugly truthsout-compete Candide’s wonderful story genes? The evidence of human history suggests that our ancestors were more like Candide than Carl. Most modern humans are naturally Candides. It usually takes years of watching BBC or PBS science documentaries to become as objective as Carl.Runaway sexual selection for ideological entertainment would not have produced accurate belief-systems, except by accident. If ideological displays were favored as fitness indicators, the only truth they had to convey was truth about fitness. They need not be accurate world-models any more than the eyes of a peacock’s tail need to represent real eyes.”(Miller, Geoffrey. “The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature.” Anchor Books, 2001: p. 421.)
If you are a devout atheist, I suggest that, for most women, you simply not mention it until you’re deeper into your relationship. Or just say you have “spiritual beliefs” and leave it at that. And if you don’t believe in astrology (like me) don’t worry. Play along anyway and tell her your sign. Most women believe in Karma and Fate, to various degrees, and they love to dwell in the mental acrobatics of predicting the future.
Books and Musical taste
“Why don’t I show you my study? You can tell a lot about a man by his study.” – Disney’s Uncle Scrooge McDuck
Most dating services have a spot where you can list your favorite reading material or musicians. I have long scrutinized over just what exactly to put here. I read a lot of books and I have quite an extensive music collection. But men who posts long lists of book and song titles often come across as too try-hard.In general I’ve found it best to just post three of your favorites and leave it at that. But if you want to get really creative, I like making a game out of it. Try to think of a quote from one of your favorite books or song lyrics. Then go to Google.com and see if you can “Google it.” That is to say, see if you are able to identify what book it’s from based on a quick search. Our goal here is to post a quote that she will be able to lookup with minimal effort. Then, instead of simply listing books, we’re going to tease her in the following fashion:
Favorite Books: If you can tell me which book this quote is from, you get a free flower!”Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.”
You don’t have to get too fluffy or overly romantic with your quote. Try to find a quote that fits your personality and really reflects your mode and personal taste. But whatever you choose, find something that stirs emotion. Here are a few samples:
- “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” – From “Our Mutual Friend” by Charles Dickens
- “He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.” – From “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy
- “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – From “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Bronte
Another tactic that usually gets a laugh is to simply compose a ridiculous list of female reading material like:
- Bridget Jones Diary
- He’s Just not That Into You
- The Feminine Mystique
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
- Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
- The Bridges of Madison County
But be sure she knows you’re kidding and doesn’t leave your profile page thinking you must be gay.
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